Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all got the gym swag, sketchy supps and protein powders you desired, for Christmas.  Now that we’re done with all the boring and obligatory seasonal greetings it’s time to do some work.

Lazy Workout

Since you’re reading this now, I’m guessing you’re bored out of your mind and in some sort of catatonic state switching from your phone to binge-watching everything Netflix has to offer back and forth all day. The gym is closed, you are filled to the gills with enough food to feed a small African village and even thinking about working out is hard. I get it, it happens to the best of us.

However, I’m willing to bet that you’re getting that “workout ich” right about now. That feeling that you NEED to do a good workout just so so you can get that “yep, I still got it…no gainz lost” feel in your muscles. Have no fear Jackedie Chan, as this is where I come in.  I have created a few clever ways of not doing much work and still being able to sneak in an okayish home workout. Try out any of these and you won’t feel like a gluttonous piece of sh*t anymore.

Static Holds

Let’s say you are boring yourself to sleep at a family meeting watching Home Alone for the 400th time and suddenly a block of commercials hit. Instead of changing the channel, try doing a static hold exercise until the commercial ends. Squat holds, planks, wall sits, push up holds, if you got a pull up bar nearby you do a bar hang. This will get you your desired “Christmas laziness didn’t ruin me after all, I’m still fuc*ing jacked” pump feel.

As you may have noticed this isn’t much of a workout, but that’s exactly the point. The goal is to get some blood flowing and get your muscles moving so you don’t lose all of your gainz over the holiday season. However, if you get the desire to get a full workout out of this, go crazy.  Try incorporating several static hold exercises and do them for time, one after the other for as many rounds as you like.

Stretching

This is really a no-brainer.  Stand up, move around and stretch out those muscles. If you can’t do a split, try stretching your crotch to it’s limit and holding the position for time. Now that your done with that, try doing some standing and sitting toe touches so your fat ass doesn’t end up being unable to tie your own shoes. Remember that flexibility is also as a key factor in injury prevention, so if your feeling stiff and rigid do few minutes of stretching a day so you don’t end up visiting snap city.

Time Attack

Picture this, it’s the same situation as in “static holds” paragraph. You’re bored out of your mind and you are watching a movie you saw more times than times you skipped leg day. Perfect, pick any exercise you like and set your self either a time limit or stop when the movie ends. Let’s say you picked push-ups, awesome, this is how you’ll be doing this. Give yourself a set number of reps you think you can casually bang out in a given time frame. Now that you’ve done that, spread out those reps any way you like. Since this a “lazy man’s guide to working out during the holiday season” I would recommend casually doing a set of 2 to 5 push-ups every few minutes. It sounds super dull and pointless, but trust me, the reps sneak up on you.

The 500

Okay, this one is a variation of the workout above but it involves a lot less time and more than one exercise. The “500” in “the 500” refferes to the total number of reps, from all the  exercises you did, combined. Yes, that’s right, the reps add up at the end to a grand total of 500 reps. To make it even more difficult, set a low time frame, like half an hour or 45 minutes. I guarantee, you will be grasping for air in no time.